Well, somebody had to do it. The LJ documenting the events of HP5. Maybe a year from now we will reread it, laugh, and say "well what the hell, lets try it again!"??? Maybe, but I am not so sure...

It seemed as though there were a lot of signs leading up to the evening of HP5, that warned us of the trouble to come. We didn't listen. The hours leading up to the party were the worst of all. High winds (after it had been beautiful all week) lead to the demise of the potentially amazing tunnel and blew the smoking tent onto a fence post (however, making a nice vent). Meijer, the only place on earth that carries dry ice, had sold out at every store within driving distance. People showed up to the party an hour early (hasn't anyone heard of being fashionably late?? Not that anyone who showed up early would ever be confused as fashionable) and interrupted me in the middle of a fake, purple eyelash crisis causing me to throw everything I owned into my car and speed over to Steve's in disaster mode in order to get the non-dry-ice-having witches brew together. Also, Matt was sick and couldn't even make it to the party!!

However, once the witches brew was made, ice was distributed to jell-o shots, light were on, candles got lit, and the fruit of the looms had a chance to catch their breath, I think we pulled off a really good HP once again. PG and his witches brew were an amazing hit - maybe too much. We were nearly depleted of all hard liquor by midnight and we still had a time change to deal with! Thank God Prince could drive and we were able to make a last alcohol run that definitely put us over our spending budget. Next year (if there is one) we are charging 15 bucks, people!! This is the fine due to property damage. You only have yourselves to thank (more on this in a minute)!!

Thanks to our wonderful decorating skills and quick thinking we are quoted as having "the best house party we have ever been to" ~ Steve's work weirdos

Anyways, I had a good time. My balloons were a bit hard to navigate through a crowd (before they were popped by a jealous Stephanie/Mandy combo), but when you hate 85 percent of the people anyways, it makes it easy to yell at people and get them out of your way.

Highlights: Rich and Amanda fought the entire night per usual and we have exactly one picture of them together. Rich had an amazing costume. Mandy made a Bob Dylan concert going friend. Steve hung out with sluts. Nicole was huge and ugly. Steph and Mandy did mating dances around Bill all night, while Yvonne glared from the stairs. Just remember, I got the fish hook. Our most wanted surprise guest could not leave his home town, but we had a mini surprise guest in Boo. We learned Mac's girlfriend is as dumb as rocks. I almost got into a fight with Jugs.

Badlights: Flapper Whore (that's right Chris, do you see what I called her??) and some dude tried to have sex in the bathroom. Mandy was able to break it up in time, but the repercussions of that are still making themselves known. Don't you know he was just holding her cup while she peed? Also, I will save the gory details for dorothyplanet's LJ, but apparently there was some Sperry/Nephew family drama that occurred after the 3 am hour. It could very well be the killer of all things HP. Stupid short guys. Oh, and yes, lets not forget the property damage that occurred to the basement washtub. The same little short guy mentioned above thought it would be a great idea to put the keg in the washtub causing it to become cracked and forcing us to replace it out of HP "profits". Idiots.

Quotes:

"I am sure your not"

"I know a great girl..."

Ok, well after typing that all out, do we feel the badlights overpowered the highlights? I think they might be kinda even after about 7 months of cooldown. Thoughts?

That about covers HP5. If everyone is honest the party itself was fun! It was just the after-effects we hated. Right? Be honest!

Also, to pause in my making light of everything, I just wanted to say that the next day just sucked (for lack of a better word). Stephanie's dad passed away unexpectedly:( We love you Steph and we are here for you...

Well, that about covers everything. Will there be an HP6? Only time will tell...


                                                       

Here is the video we discovered yesterday in the HP2 pictures folder:


It has brought with it a wave of nostalgia. In honor of the video we are instituting the HP eve pizza party tradition. Taking pizza place suggestions now.

Everyone is welcome. Lets try and bring back the vibe of yore. Leave grudges at the door. Lets make HP5 one to remember. 

Halloween season is upon us. By far one of the most stressful times of the year, but also one of the most exciting. We are back at Steve's house this year for HP 5 and the cool part is that Halloween night actually lands on Saturday, so we gotta make it big. We have a little "competition" this year (if you want to call it that) and people are looking at us to fail, so we need to bring our A game. The pre-HP stress factor has been running a little high lately, as we keep checking the FB event page. It seems that more and more people are accepting and we have no idea who they are. Has word spread so far and fast on FB that random friends of friends of friends will be arriving? Kinda like in the movie Can't Hardly Wait. And please, no one pretend you haven't seen that movie because I know you have. In any event, the more the merrier (I think), but just don't go destroying decorations or else. Speaking of decorations, we need to get full speed a head. Stupid wall hangings. Don't looked at me because I wasn't around this weekend - I had a hard week of orange cups and growy skeletons.

Besides HP a few other things have been going on. I ran my first 5K a couple Saturdays ago. It went really well and I was able to run the whole thing without stopping to walk. I am feeling really good about my progress with running longer distances. There is actually another 5K in Detroit this coming Saturday that I was thinking about doing, but I haven't made a final decision yet. I didn't realize signing up for these things was so expensive. It's like 40 bucks each time. I mean I know its going to charity but it adds up! Oh, and also this one STARTS at 7:30 am and I just don't know if I can do that haha.

Also, just returned home from another mini vacation with my mom. We traveled up to the UP for the first time. It was def not as scary as I thought! Why didn't you guys tell me?

We left from Houghton Lake on Thursday morning and drove to Paradise, MI the city where the Tahquamenon Falls are located. Small, small little town but we stayed at the Best Western right on Lake Superior, which was new and super nice. The falls were gorgeous and we also visited Whitefish Point. We got up the next day and drove to the Soo Locks and did the boat tour there. Then drove a few hours to Munising and did the Pictured Rocks boat cruise later that afternoon. Spent two nights in Munising doing a ton of driving and touristy stuff. Munising is a cool little place - pretty big I guess for UP standards. The fall colors were great while we were there and we got really lucky with timing. We almost didn't go that week because the weather forecast showed rain all week, but amazingly the sun was out majority of the time. It was cold, but the rain held out. The only precipitation we had was while we were eating lunch one day, it started snowing! Way too early for me to have seen that, but by the time we got done eating it had stopped and the sun came back out. Was kinda crazy. Another thing that really surprised me was how busy it was up there with like normal people. That Saturday turned out to be the end of the season and basically every hotel was booked up for the weekend. Turns out most everything closes up there mid October and then some reopen end of December for snowmobile season. We made it just in time. All seemed to work out well in the end.

So now through the 31st is full on HP mode with a break on Saturday to celebrate Brian coming home (yay!). After HP I will need a new idea of something to do....maybe I should job search. I say that every time, don't I? Well, after the latest disaster, I really need to. Ugh.

Tuesday is the first day of fall. Can you believe the summer went this fast? Ugh. I don't mind fall and its weather but this means winter is following shortly behind. Where has the time gone?

I am still currently stuck in limbo about my possible job prospect. God knows how long it will be until I hear something, so I should get back into job application mode. Probably not a good idea to wait until I finally hear something to start applying, since its a big possibility the response may be negative. Then I would be way behind. However, no matter how logical I am about that, I am lazy about applying.

In an effort to make the best out of all this time off (also giving me a reason to be "too busy to apply for anything else right now") I have been sightseeing my ass off. Since my last update, we all made it back from Chicago (barely). Take that alcohol poisoning. In early August my mom and I took a weekend trip to Mackinac Island, which was a lot of fun. It was my first time to the island and I enjoyed it. Kinda crazy though, that place is probably one of the most expensive places I have ever vacationed. Following that I went skydiving in Harbor Springs a couple weeks ago and that was amazing. I was worried I was tempting fate by jumping out of a perfectly good plane a second time, but as you can see I am still here. I have always wanted to jump over water and it was definitely worth it for the view of Lake Michigan. To celebrate my survival we went shopping in downtown Harbor Springs and downtown Petoskey. Very cute little vacation towns, but I was a bit disappointed in the shopping. More "rich, old lady" then "cute, young chick". Great views of the harbors at both places though. Then this past weekend my mom and I took another day trip to Traverse City and a few of its surrounding areas. I know what your thinking: when did I start going up north so much and actually enjoying it? Well, I guess I just related it to small little hillbilly towns, but some of these are actually really nice little downtown shopping places and have wonderful views. For as much as I love the ocean, my parents sure did a bad job of taking me to the great lakes when I was little. Traverse City was surprisingly normal. "Normal" restaurants and stuff (aka people). Not that I would like to live there, cause once your out of the city your in trouble, but its great to visit or vacation. Anyways, on that trip we went up Old Mission Peninsula stopping at the general store (where we bought some gum that smelled just like clove cigs, weird right?), the lighthouse, and stopped for wine tasting at Chateau Chantel. The tasting was pretty funny - my mom got a little drunk and wanted to buy everything in sight. We ended up with 2 bottles of wine, a glass, and she insisted on buying two wine corks (??). Oh, and a few postcards. From there we drove up the Leelanau Peninsula - making stops at Sutton Bay and Leeland. At Sutton Bay, my mom finally located her long sought after peace throw blanket (yes, I know she has a problem). She has hunted the world for something like this and for a mere 70 bucks, she now owns one. I really liked the historic Fishtown area of Leeland. Had all these really cute souvenir shops right along this harbor thing in really old wood cabin-type houses. From there, drove over to the Sleeping Bear Dunes. To end the day, we had dinner in downtown TC, and headed home. Now on to thinking of a few more day trips to get in before the weather sucks for 7 months.

In other news, when not day tripping, I have made working out my new job. In the off chance this job actually works out, I wanna not worry about being too fat. I have lost 16 pounds and hope to get off at least 10 more. Its been hell, can I just say that? I hate eating healthy, its never enough and working out everyday sucks. I feel my will fading, but I am hoping to push thru. I does feel good though, since I am fitting into jeans I haven't worn in years, including a pair from Abercrombie (! which I should treasure because I am pretty sure they don't make any sizes in double digits these days). It is also nice to be able to run more then 1/4 block without having to stop because I can't breathe. Not that I am doing anything great, just nice not be sooo unhealthy. I didn't even realize I had gotten so bad.

Speaking of running, Mandy, were you still interested in doing that 5K in AA? I believe its on Sunday, October 4th this year. I think I will probably suck, but I was thinking about maybe possibly trying it....thoughts?

Well, I appeared to have let my LJing slip. Summer has been very busy, considering I haven't had to do that pesky thing called work. Let me see if I can get us all caught up.

Forth of July has come and gone. We had a "pool" party over at my house to celebrate. Once we finally rounded everyone up and got them over, it was a really fun time. Ate a ton, drank too much (as my mom commented on our amount of empties), and played a few rounds of drunkball under the fireworks. Picture Sandlot for an older audience. The boys insisted on lighting a few fireworks as well, but thankfully it went smoothly and I didn't have to explain to my dad how the sides of the pool melted.

This past weekend was our white water rafting trip to wild and wonderful West Virgina. Since I am typing this, you know I made it back alive, as did everyone else. It was an amazing weekend and I highly recommend trying rafting. We got there on Thursday and went straight to zip lining. It wasn't exactly how we thought it would be, but it was still a blast. You got to zip down two different lines, one higher (and funner) then the other. Friday was rafting day. It apparently rains way more in the mountains then we had assumed, but we got lucky and had a beautiful day. We did the Lower New River for our trip and it was a great time. Not as much work as we had assumed and you got to do rapids and also jump in the river and swim for parts as well. We also did some "surfing". This is when you paddle back into a rapid and attempt to surf it. This was the death of me. We did a large rapid called the Grayhound and a large wall of water hit my side causing me to bounce right out and effectively be run over by the raft. The worst part of this is that Mandy should have gone over with me, but was rescued by Kristi, who in the nick of time, reached over and grabbed her effectively pulling her back into the boat and leaving me to die. Least I have a story to tell! Oh, and our guide Tim, was awesome. Love him and wish we could have taken him back with us. Saturday Mandy, Steve, and I got up and did some ATVing. As I mentioned, it rains very suddenly in the mountains, and it began down pouring on our trip, In the end, it actually made it even funner as we got to power through some killer mud puddles and just got to tear it up. We stopped at some great overlooks and got some really cool pictures. We even made a friend on the trip and our pictures ended up on the ACE FB page. Later in the afternoon Saturday we did some exploring and visited the Endless Wall. Sunday we had to pack up and head home. I highly recommend everyone check out the New River Gorge Bridge at least once as well...amazing...second highest bridge in the world. The New River itself is the second oldest in the world as well. Second only to the Nile.

We came home for a few days and now tomorrow we are heading out to Chicago for the weekend. Visiting Mandy's cuz and hanging out. Should be a fun little weekend trip. Weekend after that is my b-day celebration!!! Everyone else has some horrible wedding to attend that Sunday and I hope they are prepared to go hungover. Good thing about that is Matt will be back in town! Yay! Then that Tuesday I leave for up north/Mackinac Island with my mom. Pretty excited cause I have never been. So, yeah, July has and continues to be super busy. BSE!

Between all that little things have been popping up here and there and we have experienced lots of signs. I think, even if it doesn't always lead us to where we want to be, we have been in the exact place we should be at all times these summer.

Keeping figures crossed on a possible job situation as well. Its secret though.

I will leave you with the cutest picture of us and our rafting guide Tim.

Much has occurred in the past week. Best summer ever is officially in full swing and I am on the band wagon.

I left for North Carolina last Thursday to visit my old suite mate Jamie, from MSU, who is now a nurse in Charlotte. Overall, the trip itself was really good. We stayed at her townhouse in Charlotte Thursday and Friday night. Thursday I got settled and we went downtown for 'Alive After Five' which is a rooftop outside music/drinks thing in the Epicenter. The band that was playing was a Journey cover band, which I took as a sign that Matt really shouldn't have left but no one seemed to listen to me. I mentioned this to one of the girls I was with and she responded with "is he gay?" I also saw this as a sign. This night was probably the least fun since I was in such bad company. A lot of Jamie's work friends (nurses/docs) came up and were basically snobby assholes. You can tell Jamie tries really hard to fit in, but they are just not good people. I felt bad for her and I hope she takes a little of my advise and tries to meet some better people because she is a sweet girl. We ended up at a dueling piano bar, where basically all the work friends ended up taking off without even telling Jamie, but I didn't mind since I kinda hated them anyway. I did some thinking while watching all this unfold and it really makes me appreciate my group of friends and the people I have in my life (shout out Mandy and Steph! - I love you guys). Its good to have good friends and people in your life that care about you. Just so you know, when we move, we are moving in a pack.

Friday we got up to drive around and explore. We ended up having lunch at a place called 'Toast' where I got some awesome southern mac and cheese. It was cool because the restaurant was on Davidson's campus, which was one the the sleeper teams in the Big Ten Tournament a few years ago. Tiny, tiny campus and neat to see! Later that night we did some shopping and had dinner at a restaurant called 'Red Rock', where all the food was named after a NSCAR driver (of course). We then went out to Whiskey River, which is the bar Dale Earnhardt, JR owns, with Jamie and her sister, who I like a lot. Night was fun, only thing to really say is I rode a fucking mechanical bull. Saturday we got up and made the 3 hour drive to Wilmington and laid out on Wrightsville Beach! I forget how much I loveeeee the beach until I get out on it. Salty air, sun, water...love! We had a good dinner that night and then went to a small dive bar near the ocean called Buddy's, where I got to staple a dollar bill on the wall with my name on it. It was airy, small, lots of Tom Petty and Johny Cash on the jukebox, and amazing. Rays of NC? haha

Sunday we drove home and dropped me off at the airport (after getting pulled over). Overall, NC was nice. I really liked Wilmington a bit better then Charlotte. Charlotte is nice, but kinda just normal city. I loved that Wilmington was a bigger, nice city and then you still got the beach environment. Out of the two would def move to Wilmington first. Hopefully, might be making a trip back in early September.

So then the really crazy stuff went down. I get back to work Tuesday, which I had expected we would be getting our 60 day letters. Well we did, but we were told that we were allowed to leave that day. We were also told we would be getting paid throughout that 60 days, with the last check being August 14th. So that translates into PAID SUMMER VACATION!!!! Of course, I will be job hunting in the mean time, but how amazing!! Paid vacation through the 'best summer ever'. However, I totally have a travel bug and no plans in June...I need someone else to please quit their job. Some say I have become demanding, but I call it...passionate? Anyway, at least lots of stuff is planned for July, so even if June is a bit slow, I am excited! You don't know how good it felt changing my voicemail to "this is a nonworking extension"...

All is lined up for a great summer, so I hope everyone is ready. I have been a bit crazy lately from overload. I have been downloading weird not-me-type songs, having crazy conversations with people about soulmates and interventions, and convincing people to live in the now. Summer goals include finding booty call/soulmate (if someone would stop being so selfish and help me), figuring out a hobby, reading, working out, traveling, and fun!

Well, after resting up and having a little bit of fun this weekend I came to work with a little bit more positive attitude and a willingness to move past my mini depression. I had a good talk with my boss and I headed home not feeling too bad. However, it appears the universe is going to do everything in its power to fight me on this.

Cut to today at the gym. I now officially have the honor of holding the "worst gym horror story" award.

Let me fill you in on a little back story. I have acquired a very large "gym friend" (kinda what I pictured Lenny from Of Mice and Men to look like), Aubrey. We both work out most weekday nights at the same time. Now Aubrey has this other "gym friend", Unnamed Guy, that he works out in the weight area with. Each night after my run I migrate into the weight area and unfortunately, Unnamed Guy has taken to think it is ok to talk to me since he has seen me chatting with Aubrey.

Now the thing is I HATE talking to people when I am working out. Since I get home so late, I don't get to the gym until 8:30 and my workouts have gotten so long that I can barely fit everything in by 10. I am on a time table Unnamed Guy - PAY ATTENTION. Anyway, today I was rushing to finish my arm reps when Unnamed Guy comes over and feels like its a nice time to chat.

Here is a reenactment:

UNG: I use to be 235 pounds, but now I am down to like, 170.
Me: Oh wow, really? Well that's great!
UNG: Yeah, I just started running 2-3 miles and then hitting the weights really hard.
Me: Cool (looking away extremely annoyed at this point)
UNG: (Not getting the hint) Yeah, I have noticed you are working out your arms a lot. Are you trying to loose weight?
Me: Oh, you know, just trying to get in shape for summer.
UNG: How much do you weigh?
Me: *Look of horror crossing my face - does he not know you don't ask a girl her weight?!*
UNG: Oh, its ok, you can tell me. I have been there.
ME: Um, well *enter number here* (Ok, you are now asking yourself, you told some random guy your weight but you won't even type in here? YES, OK YES, I WAS UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE IN THIS AWKWARD CONVERSATION)
UNG: Oh ###, really? (are you ready for this?!!!) You look like you weigh more then that...
Me: Oh, thanks...**runs away**

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?! APPARENTLY I LOOK FATTER THEN I AM. AND ITS NOT LIKE IM UNDERWEIGHT FOR MY HEIGHT TO BEGIN WITH!! God, and all this the week before I have to put on a dress and parade myself around a group of my closest friends attempting to look sexy. Just great. Watch out wedding, tub of lard coming through. A pale one at that.

Well, I called Mandy to vent so I could laugh about it. That helped not spiral me back into a pit of despair but damn if the universe didn't try.

God, some people need to learn better manners.

And now I know I am going to be the ugliest one at this damn wedding.

I hate to carry on this tradition of depressing posts but I seriously can't seem to shake myself out of this funk. It is kind of scaring me a little.

We were driving to Marie's bachelorette party on Saturday and as we were stopped for a red light on Warren at the intersection of Wayne we saw this women on her Harley waiting for traffic to clear to make a left hand turn. She was directly in front of us when suddenly she just tipped her bike, fell onto the street, the bike on top of her. She wasn't even moving when this happened, just lost her balance in the busiest intersection in a 50 block radius. I feel like this was a metaphor for my life lately: fell over for no reason and now everyone is beeping at me to get up but I can't because of this 2,000 pound bike on my leg...

Lets take yesterday for example. I sat on my couch alone for at least 7 hours watching the Golden Girls marathon on the Hallmark channel only getting up twice: once to get McDonalds and again to run to Custard Hut to get an ice cream. Let me just point out that was a low point. Walking into that place to order a soft serve ice cream with sprinkles, surrounded by a bunch of 15 year old kids hanging out. Like hey...not on a cute date, just a fat, single, lonely chick coming through. Make way. But damn it, I wanted a fucking ice cream cone.

Ugh. I don't know. I feel feel like ever since I found out about my job, I just can't get back on track. I feel like I have lost everything. 2009 was suppose to be the year of personal growth but instead I feel like I have gone backwards 100 miles.

Stuff isn't going well around the house either. On Friday my mom informed me that she thinks it was karma biting me in the ass that caused me to loose my job. I already feel like a large enough loser at the prospect of shortly having to tell people I am laid off and she somehow managed to turn it into my fault as well. Then today, without getting into too much detail my dad basically thinks I am a disgusting piece of trash but just doesn't know it yet. And my mom just stands there like a lump as if I never had a serious convo with her about said reason for "being disgusting" in his eyes. Like fucking stand up for your kid, women.

God, I just. I thought by 25 I would be moved out, successful, have my shit together more then I do. Instead I am still living at home, any money I have saved I probably be forced to spend here shortly, loosing my job, no car, no relationship, no passion, failed past relationships, failed important friendships, friends moving away, and trying desperately to hold on to the close friends I do have. I really am trying to gear up for the "best summer ever" but instead I just feel sad a lot.

Mandy is off with her new lesbian friends in A2 like the new popular social butterfly she is and I am going to sit here and wish life wasn't so fucking hard.

There is no soulmate coming to save the day. What do I have to offer them anyway?

Today was a very hard day. Today I turned in the mustang. My baby. Gone for good. Soon to be sold to the highest bidder at the Detroit Auto Auction.

The lease was officially up on Wednesday but since I have work there was no way I could make it back before they closed, so I had to turn her in today. I honestly felt like I was returning an unwanted dog or something. I had made the mistake of parking it right next to my dad's car, so as we pulled away I could do nothing but stare at it as it faded away in the distance. Tears, seriously, sprang to my eyes. And now every time I look out the window at its vacant space in the driveway all I can think about is the day I bought it and how I couldn't stop looking out the window at it. How I couldn't believe I really owned it. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

To make matters worse, I had convinced myself to be stupid and immature and just go ahead and re-lease another mustang, since it being my only bill I could afford it, even on unemployment. The 2010 is a gorgeous car. I even briefly thought about buying a manual, but on the test drive, I quickly decided that wasn't a good idea. As my dad said "you are going through too many life changes right now, I'd stick with the automatic." Which roughly translated meant, he thought he was going to watch me pull into the driveway with a smashed in front end because I was too busy worrying about how much my life sucked to remember to push the brake AND the clutch when I needed to stop.

Anyways, this all became a moot point once we got the pricing on this fucking thing. Basically, the lease was like 600 to 700 bucks (and no cheaper to buy) depending on your credit score. Either way, even to this elitist, that's nuts. Yeah, its a nice car, but damn its not a fucking Lamborghini. Since the car isn't even really formally introduced there is not one rebate on it yet, so its crazy expensive. I would assume soon they would have to make some because I would really like to know who would pay that much for a car in this economy. Thus, I will just have to wait it out. My main concern is that, if I end up not finding a job right away they won't lease me one. Wanted to do it now, while I still had everything in order. Oh well, maybe it will all work out in the end and I will find the job of my dreams, the price will come down, and I will be the happiest girl in the world. While I am dreaming, lets throw in a rich and wonderful boyfriend too. In the meantime, I will just keep feeling like I want to throw up intermittently, when I actually stop and think that this is all really happening.

Oh, and as a side note, yes I do know how lucky I am that my parents have a car I can drive while I figure out my life, that people have things a lot worse then me, blah blah blah. This is just be venting.

So in order to cure my car blues, I partook in some retail therapy, purchasing 3 pairs of jeans and/or capris, 2 pairs of shoes, and 2 sunglasses. All this in an attempt to complete my summer wardrobe before my paycheck gets cut in half. God, ok, I feel like I am planning my death or something. Hopefully, this self pity passes soon haha.

Also, bought my ticket to NC to visit my old sweet mate Jamie, which I am pretty excited about. Will be gone Thursday, May 28th til Sunday the 31st. Turns out I will miss the Roller Derby Championship that Saturday, but since its still a 50/50 chance we will even be allowed to show our faces around the Derby Girls without getting beat up I figure it was the best odds since the weekend before is Memorial Day and the weekend after is Pride.

Upcoming this weekend: Road Rally. Pretty excited about it - should be fun. Mandy, I think I can borrow the Tahoe from my parents for it if we want. Biggest car we have access to, I think, so might give us some room at least while doing it. You know Rich will piss someone off haha.

Ok, I am going to go now. That is all.

Oh, and just as I was about to post this I got a rejection from Facebook. Yes I applied to Facebook, no I didn't think I would get it, but annoyed I had to read that today. Ok, leaving for real this time.

Help me.

These days nothing ever lasts.

Ain't that the truth. Life is fucked up.

My last post I wrote about my awesome raise and how excited I was. This post is about how I am getting laid-off. Funny how quickly things change. Basically, I got a call this morning not to come in due to the office being in utter chaos. We found out that the whole non-injury claims unit, in all states, is being centralized to Westerville, OH. I can either relocate to Ohio and have my same job or I will get my 60 day notice on May 31st and I will need to be out by July 31st when our building lease is up.

Lots of thinking to do. Westerville is a upper suburb of Columbus, a nice area. It is also where Nationwide's home office is located and where all the career opportunities are with the company but, damn, it's OHIO. Ugh. I also just didn't plan on staying with them that much longer anyways. Insurance was not the career path I had planned out for myself. Not that I know what that path is, but I know it wasn't this. So, I doubt I will move for them. Least I have some time to get shit together before I am out of a job. Time to update that resume....

I was okay for the most part all day, until my drive to the gym and I just felt sick to my stomich. I mean I didn't LOVE the job but I worked hard and had earned some respect there. Now I gotta do it all over again. Hopefully, it was meant to lead me to something better. Please?

Did anyone think life was going to be so difficult? I mean, I just grew up thinking my 20's were going to be like Sex and the City. Starting careers in jobs we actually liked, dating, having fun, going out with good friends, and having a place to call our own in a big city. What do I currently have? Nothing. I live in my parents basement, about to loose my job, single, failed relationships, and even the lease on my car is up. Ugh. We are like in a mini great depression. Well, I am at least.

This came on the heels of a low self-esteem weekend. I have just been feeling totally blah. Hits me every once in a while. Single still, 25, no one is ever really interested. I don't wanna be like married but it was just be nice to meet someone FUN. In all the realtionships I have had lately, fun is not the word that describes them. I just want someone to be interested and really want me, you know? I am that bad? No one fights, people loose interest in a second, or I meet weird poeple on facebook that can't even hang out in a bar. Ugh. Kill me. Seriously.

What else? Well, one good thing is that I really have no bills. In this case, living at home isn't so bad, and it stops me from having to be forced to move somewhere I don't want to go. I made the last lease payment on my car, so even that is up. That makes me soo sad though. I love my car and now giving it up is going to kill me. I was just at the dealership yesterday, looking at the new 2010 Mustangs. I had the one I wanted all picked out too. That may be out the window. Unless I can pick up a new job quick. My dad mentioned extending the lease on mine too, if its less money. So I have to see. :( I think this makes me the saddest out of everything. The one thing to my name. Bye.

I hypothetically mentioned to my parents just riding it out at work until the end of July and then going backpacking with my saved up money. Not sure that went over to well but something to think about. That or I am hanging out on the couch with Beth watching bad TV come July. Would be nice to have some time off in the summer though...

All vacations are going on as planned. No one get any ideas. Thank God for savings accounts. Who knows, maybe I will find the one great job left in the world. Yeah, right.

Ok, I think that moping should cover it for the night. Don't wanna go into work tomorrow. I didn't even go in today, but I heard it was bad. Crying, yelling, storming out. The morale of the office is not going to be good at all....

Time for an update. Lots of different little stuff popping up here and there.

Today was very up and down emotionally. I felt a lot of passion in me.

At work today I had my annual performance evaluation, which is where we find out about our raises for the year. Considering everything that is going on with the company and how unstable its been I really didn't think I was going to get much of a raise if any. I prepared myself for disappointment all day but when meeting time rolled around, I was VERY pleasantly surprised. I actually ended up getting a raise which was like basically double anything I have gotten before - 8.3%. I have been working my ass off and got more claims then anyone in the Great Lakes, so I feel it was deserved and am really happy about it. I don't mind working hard as long as its noticed.

As a side work note, April will be leaving us for Columbus, OH. I know it wasn't exactly how you wanted it all the play out April, but I think it will work out great for you! You better keep updating LJ, so we can chat! I will miss you at work!

Also, today I found out my trip to St. Lucia for scuba diving class isn't going to work out exactly how I planned. According to the stupid women I talked to on the phone today (I think everyone else is out in the Grand Cayman) there are no instructors going on this trip so you have to already be certified to go with them; you can't learn there like you could on the Grand Cayman trip. I am wondering if its a sign this isn't meant to happen since this is the second time I have gotten a kink in my plan. I might just have to stick to learning in the summer on their weekend trips instead of going on a larger one first. I was just really looking forward to some sun and sand after this long hard winter. Like really looking forward to it. Now I have the travel bug but no real trips planned. I am thinking about planning some long weekend stuff. I spoke to my old sweet mate Jamie today and I might head down to NC the second to last or last weekend in May. So that might be nice. Also, Mandy. Just start preparing now. We are going white water rafting birthday week. PEN that in.

In other news, made my last Mustang payment today. Excited yet sad about it! Three years went so fast. Still working on what I am going to do when April rolls around and I have to turn it in. Mostly likely a new Mustang but the 2010 body is different and I need to see one in person before deciding if I want that over the 2009. Anyone seen one floating around?

Tomorrow is a pretty crazy day. Stephanie and Brian are getting married! Ah! Congrats guys! I mean you guys are practically married now and have a baby and everything but this still is like exciting and crazy all wrapped into one. I just don't know! I will have married friends! Close friends! Ah! I can't wait to see you! I have a half day, so I will be going in early and sneaking out at noon. I still don't know what I am going to wear! Hate Steve for making us all self-conscience about what we are wearing.

Then Saturday is Matt's party. I don't even really know what to think about it. I am sure something crazy will come up. Mandy, I have a thought about this. I shall talk to you tomorrow.

Tomorrow: 11 am. Ding.

I will be DD for Matt's if anyone needs a ride. I am still on drinking probation haha.

Life is a jumble of crazyness these days!

I got into work this morning and in my e-mail I found this:

Congratulations, you are finished. Mail me two final copies. One needs to be in a folder. Your final grade will come from the CMU after the blind review process. It usually takes three to four weeks. It would be useless to contact me during this process as I will have no more information about the procedure than you. Best of luck in your future ventures.

So yay me!!! Thesis is offically complete and the stress is lifted!!!

I hope I get a good grade, but honestly right now I don't even care what it is. I am just happy it is over! I will mail out the two final copies this weekend and await the grade!

Special thanks to my wonderful editor Amanda Nephew for reading it through for me twice, even though she wanted to kill herself. Without you, I would still be working on it! Next trip to Rays, drinks are on me:)

Revised thesis was mailed out today!!!

Lets hope it gets accepted...

Here we are in 2009. I can't believe its already mid-January. How time flies when it won't stop snowing.

Well lets see. Our non-New Years Eve party at the loft turned out really good. Had some food, had some drinks, had some fun. If you want more details see Mandy's LJ. Why re-post when I forced her to do it so I didn't have to. Good time management I say.

2009 has been pretty good thus far. An event occurred around the 3 am hour of NYE (peer pressure) that, shall we say, made me see the world in a much CLEARER light. So that is how I am going to into '09 and living my life. It seems to be working. I've been keeping a positive attitude and trying to stay optimistic (much to the annoyance of some). As I said before '08 was a pretty hard year relationship wise, so it was time to CLEAR all the bad and just start nice and fresh. Hopefully, it will hold up. We are only 12 days into it.

Other than that, not too much has been going on. This weekend was extremely uneventful. After work on Saturday, we scrounged enough people together for a game of Walleyball which was fun and a good workout. Nothing super exciting was going on after that so we decided to take a 'health night' and not go drinking. Well, that pretty much turned into me laying around and not leaving my house until, well, I am actually still here. So basically, tomorrow morning. I worked on my thesis* and watched a few movies. Nice and relaxing so that is ok with me.

*So the thesis. Yes, its still not done. I met with my prof last Monday and he had a few changes for me to make as well as telling me I needed to add ten (!) sources. He said it was a great paper just not all the way there. Ugh. Well I got all my sources together (thanks, CMU library who knew you could be so helpful) and finished summarizing them this weekend. So, I am about halfway there on the changes. Hope to be done by the end of this month.

I have also started looking into my scuba class, which was the other goal for this month. Friday I almost signed up for a trip to Grand Cayman for the open dive cert in February but after looking into airfare, I just couldn't rationalize spending all that money without having any time to save. And you know if I rationalized my way out of that, it was bad. I realized they are taking a trip to St. Lucia the first week in April, so I think I am going to try and hit that one instead. It looks even more beautiful and seems like it has a ton more stuff do it. Deep sea fishing, private mountain biking trails, etc. I am a little worried about it being kind of couplely and me being the only single girl going, but what the hell right? Hopefully, I won't be and worst comes to worst I just chill on the beach for most of it. Right? I hope. I get nervous doing new things, but you always have to be the new girl once...

But yeah, so that will give me time to save up, finish the thesis, and then hopefully I can take the pool class in March and go on the trip in April. I hope this works out!

Other then that not much is new. Work is busy as hell with all the snow, which sucks. Last Tuesday I came into the office to 26 voicemails. That has never happened to me before, in over 3 years! Have a few things lined up for the rest of the month:

1. Next weekend: Matt and Chris' Day of Fun (Good luck sleeping in that basement Mandy haha)
2. The Killers concert
3. A Woman's Roller Derby match! Who knew Detroit had a team? Ok, apparently Mandy did and she wants to join (haha) so we are going to check out a match and see how intense it is. Based on the "injury" picture section on their website, I will risk saying it will be. Should be interesting and I am all for going to the after party and mingling...who knows who we will run into....

The new year is upon us. I can't believe it is almost already 2009. 2008 went so fast!!!

The year def had its share of up and downs. We did a lot of fun stuff and I got to travel a bit. Had some downs in regards to relationship stuff, but hopefully that just means I will go up from here.

We are having NYE at Stephanie and Brian's loft downtown. Its the last horroah for the loft since they will be moving out shortly after the first of the year. I think I will miss the loft and game nights over there, but again they will be on to bigger and better things. Hopefully, the New Years Eve party will be a blast and we will go out on a good memory. I am feeling a little grumpy about it today, since I actually HATE this holiday, but I am hoping I come out of it tomorrow. NYE just always has all this build up and it can be forced fun sometimes and you end up having more fun on a random Weds night then when you are actually "suppose" to be having fun. However, its just seven of us tomorrow, no one we hate is coming, and the loft is all cute decked out in blue lights so it should be fun. Plus I just spent 50 bucks on beer so we better be having one hell of a beer pong tourney.

I guess just most of my grumpiness is stemming from the fact I have to work tomorrow. I mean, I know I could have taken it off and I didn't, but UGH. Isn't New Year's Eve more of the holiday then the actual day itself? I hope they let us out early. I doubt it, but one can hope. I am also going in early so I don't have to stay til 7, so I am hoping im not too tired by the time 2 am rolls around. Hate work lately.

Ok, enough bitching. NYE should be fun. Lets talk about resolutions. I have two:
1. Put all bad juju energy into positive working out energy. By Vegas I wanna look hot.
2. Is personal but it has to do with putting all the people that upset me the most behind me. One in particular. I really, really don't want to do it but its for the best. Its not good for me anymore. Or really ever was.

I also have two goals for the month of January.
1. Finish the thesis
2. Join a scuba club in Ann Arbor.

 

( End of the year survey )

Snow, snow, snow, snow everywhere tonight. I had the mustang, so it was a long and stressful drive home from work. Didn't take quite as long as I thought it would, but that car doesn't brake for shit in the snow and people were slamming on their brakes for no reason most of the way. I hate that. You live in Michigan - get use to driving in this weather! I should have taken the Escape to work today, but according to my mom "its wasn't suppose to snow until after Midnight." So much for that. But I made it home safe and sound. Take that K-Lu!!

Oh, and funny story about my drive home today. Ok, it's really kind of evil but I laughed so I will share. I am headed home from work. Not very far from the office on Big Beaver. I got stopped at a light on Big Beaver right where the on ramp for 75 is. I am sitting there just looking out the window when I spot a man on a bike!! I am thinking WTF to myself, since its snowing heavily out there, plus there is a layer of about 2 inches of fresh, unsafe snow piling on the ground. "What is this man thinking?" I say to myself, just as he is crossing what should be the sidewalk if there wasn't a foot of snow covering it. Just as the thought passes my mind, this dude BITES it hard. Body over the handlebars, face first in the snow in the middle of an entrance ramp to the EXPRESSWAY!! I laughed to myself as my light turned green and my mustang puttered away (SLOWLY) down the snow covered road. Lesson learned: don't drink and drive - you know that's why hes riding a BIKE in the middle of WINTER.

Anyways, I graduated!! Well, sort of. As I mentioned in my previous post I was up at CMU this past weekend for commencements. The ceremony was on Saturday and went off as planned. Was pretty short and sweet considering and went off with no problems other then my mom being a picture stalker and running around me like I hired a personal photographer. Even the girl next to me (WHO I DIDN'T KNOW) was like "God, if shes like this now I don't even wanna see her when you have kids!"

After the ceremony my parents went back up north and Mandy, Steve, Kenny, Rich, and Amanda came up and helped me celebrate. We went down to the casino to drink and gamble. Drinking went well, gambling did not. No one ended up hitting it big. Rich and Kenny were the highest winners, with Rich winning 40 bucks on the penny slots (don't ask, he became a total hillbilly that night fitting right in with everyone else) and Kenny mysteriously won 50 dollars on some slot machine. To celebrate these wins, the winners were forced into buying me graduation drinks/shots. Steve was the high roller of the night, dropping "mad cash" (using the term loosely), but he just couldn't make anything happen. My excitement for the night was located at the roulette table and the dealer that came with it. Apparently, this guy had it big for me, smiling whenever I came by and making little comments while I was at the table, etc. It was kinda hot but I think we determined he looked Russian, probably couldn't speak much English, was named Boris, and probably had connections with the Russian Mafia. Ok, that is kinda hot. Too bad his time at the table was up during my mid play and he had to leave.

Sunday, everyone left mid afternoon and my mom came back up to hangout with me. We had dinner, visited the casino for a bit again, and sat down and had a talk. We ended up having a really great talk considering the topic and I was finally able to open up with her about something that had been weighing me down for a few years. It was pretty crazy, but I am glad it happened. Monday, I got up and got my massage. It was so nice and much needed after the weekend and convo with my mom. Even 50 minutes goes by so fast! I wish she had another 30 minutes for my back alone. Then we stopped by MSU, did a little shopping and had lunch, and then made it back home.

Now for the disappointing news. On Sunday I checked my e-mail and my professor wrote back that my thesis needs some work yet. So UGH, still not totally there. I wanted it to be done and I am just zapped of all energy to even THINK about fixing it. I need to meet with him to go over the changes because his email confused me, but of course he will be out of town for the holidays so we can't meet until January 5th. So now I am totally stressed about it and wanting it done and it has to sit. The only good thing is that maybe taking a couple weeks off will give me that little bit of extra renewed energy I need to get it finished. Hopefully, by mid January it will be all set and I can get this damn diploma. I checked today and I got an A in my last class, so this really is the last thing hanging over my head.

So it was back to work today. Tomorrow is the Uncle Rays Christmas Party!! It was a blast last year, but initial estimates show that we might not have the turn out we were hoping for this year. But fuck it, we will go and have fun. I have sparkley sweatpants and Mandy has antlers and that's all we need. Right? Right.

Well, the bad juju lives on. Its been a really bad few days for everyone it seems.

One a good note, things have gotten a little bit better with my mom. I met her up at CMU today to get all ready for graduation. We talked a little and I think we are okay for now. She bought me stuff which always cheers me up.

Right now I am sitting in the hotel lobby of the Soaring Eagle Casino by the fire. Its nice. I was suppose to go up north and just drive back down here on Saturday for Graduation, but I decided I needed some alone time. Meditation time. So I booked the room another night and have been relaxing since my mom left. For some reason, one of my favorite things is to have a hotel room alone. Something just so relaxing and freeing about it. Maybe its just because I don't have my own place yet so the peace is nice. At a hotel you get peace and someone who cleans up after you. Win-win situation.

Well, the source of me being upset earlier today had a lot to do with graduation. I barely even wanted to come up. Some people backed out and it almost didn't look like anyone was going to make it up to celebrate with me. Looks like it might work out okay here in the end, hopefully. Stupid bad juju and car accidents affecting the people that actually DO want to come up and be with me.

I walk at 1:30 tomorrow, dinner, then some drinks. Hopefully the weather holds up, everyone is in a better mood tomorrow, and ready for some drinks and some laughs. Then Sunday my mom and I will participating in some lounging by the pool and a 50 min massage. God, I can't wait. I fucking need it.

Good juju please come back.

Well, I was about to sit down and post about how I just finished my last class, my last exam, and my last paper hopefully forever (if not for a really long time). And post about how happy I was and how it was such a good night.

Well, some interesting developments happened and no one is awake!!! Mandy and Stephanie - I am talking to you!!! Steph, aren't you like always up?!

Ok, anyways I probably shouldn't post all this here but I am pissed off and the only other person that reads this already knows I am so fuck it. Fuck everyone.

Well Mandy, I guess my intuition was correct again. You know that chick, Annie, we were looking at today in that pic with Tim? They are dating. He changed his relationship status on Facebook today. After we talked on text and he didn't say anything, after I asked him to coffee and he said no but didn't say anything, and after someone that I am really close to was at the fucking party they were at together and didn't FUCKING TELL ME. Well, just fucking great. I mean she is ugly and its not like I want Tim back but there is a lot of shit going on here thats shady as fuck and IM JUST SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.

GOD, I knew by looking at the picture. Am I good or what? Fucking douchebag. Guess I didn't mean anything at all since hes up and moved on. Ok, I guess I don't mean that cause if I had someone I would be too but its just like the point of you always want the other person to be moping over you. I thought I was mope-worthy. Guess not. God. And its the fact that someone knew and someone felt it "wasn't their job". Well FUCK YOU!!!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I hate relationships.

JUJU IS BACK TO BAD.

Ok I might think about this and end up deleting it but since you have the party tomorrow and probably won't talk to you - I thought id get it out. God, why aren't you guys AWAKE!!!

Alright, so I read through my entire class (hopefully didn't miss anything too important) and finally finished the damn book tonight.

I seriously don't even know what to say. It was so horrible yet it sucked me into an obsession of what could possibly come next. I don't even really know what to say right now, but just wanted to note that I completed the book that started all the 'signs'.

Mandy, seriously, I am dropping this book over to your house tomorrow so you can finish it. I NEED to talk to you about this thing before I forget it. Not that I could, but I just noted some stuff in my head that we just HAVE to talk about. God, there was so much. Oh, also remind me to tell you about the commercial I saw tonight that was a sign.